Eastern Promises (2007)

Eastern Promises

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Director : David Cronenberg

Writer : Steven Knight

Actors : Viggo Mortensen, Naomi Watts, Vincent Cassel, Armin Mueller-Stahland and others...

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Overall : 5.5/10

Direction : 5.5/10

Acting : 6.0/10

Cinematography : 5.5/10

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Eastern Promises is nothing more than a bravely foolish attempt at creating the never-needed Russian version of The Godfather.

You have an old patriarch at the head of the business, one hot-headed son and an budding mafia leader in the making. The ingredients are there to be fused together. The ultimate dish, though, disappoints.

The plot is alright for a mafia movie, that much I should clarify. The execution? Not even close.

Cronenberg was obviously of the opinion that more blood and gore will add a touch of realism to the movie. In fact, the beginning of the movie has as much blood-spilling as that in Saw or Grudge. Repulsive nature of some of the scenes aside, there is not much of note in this bland flick.

The director's mediocrity filters down to the cast.

The actors are nowhere near their potential. Normally, a cast featuring Naomi Watts and Viggo Mortensen would have taken my breath away. Quite to the contrary, their dull and listless performances end up making something impossible, possible - they kill an already dead movie.

The plot isn't even worth discussing. For all of you who have seen The Godfather trilogy, this will be a very, very dismal affair.

Just for the sake of discussing this piece of almost worthless art, the story revolves around the death of a underage prostitute, whose baby is delivered by the midwife Anna Khitrova (Naomi Watts). She also finds a diary on the dead girl, which leads her to the Trans-Siberian Restaurant owned by Semyon (Armin Mueller-Stahland). Little does she realise at that point of time that she had walked into the lion's den - that Semyon was an old and respected vor of the Russian Mafia. Things go out of hand when the undertaker Nikolai Luzhin (Viggo Mortensen) and the son of Semyon, Kirill (Vincent Cassel), get involved.

The flick then moves at a glacial pace, till a small surprise towards the end. However, I was too disoriented by then to even acknowledge the sudden change of direction.

Honestly put, you can miss this one. No one will kill you for it.

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Official Trailer

Hypocrites

Hypocrites

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Civilization is a pain in the ass.

People are so hypocritical nowadays, it almost fogs their ability to see others who aren't. They don't give a shit about anyone, doing things exclusive to their whims and fancies.

I, for one, also don't care much about every stupid and trivial thing that is unfolding around me - we just aren't meant to! But, once in every few acts of life, shouldn't we take a dramatic pause, and think about the repercussions our words or actions might have on others?

It's a shame that it doesn't quite happen. Sensitivity and maturity are so dead.

What does actually take place is a charade - the quiet, and rather coerced, reciprocation of fake emotions. It's a long journey, starting right from the moment you are ushered into the world, right upto the moment when your good is interred with your bones.

Therefore, it's only sensible to stop expecting. That's when you'll be really happy. The twenty-first century creature can best survive (and happily so) by being self-sufficient.

Often, self-sufficiency blends into selfishness. That's when civilization (if there ever was one) becomes nothing but a mere genocide of clashing interests.

It's safe to assume contradictions run the world. They always have. They always will...

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Se7en (1995)

Se7en

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Director : David Fincher

Writer : Andrew Kevin Walker

Actors : Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow, (plus one) and others...

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Overall : 10/10

Direction : 8.5/10

Acting : 9.0/10

Cinematography : 9.0/10

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Se7en is perfection, personified.

David Fincher is one of my favourite directors. With the kind of command he possesses over the art of story-telling, Fincher creates a classic with this venture. Crime thrillers come and go, but this movie will stick with you.

The actors are a class apart. Morgan Freeman, as the almost retired detective William Somerset, and Brad Pitt as his young protege David Mills, are absolutely phenomenal. Dark and gritty, once his movie gets hold of you, it never lets go.

The crux of the story is this : there is a serial killer named 'John Doe' on the loose and Somerset, who still has a week before he hangs up his boots, pairs up with the guy who has been called in to replace him - David Mills. The duo are like fire and ice. Somerset is the anchor, and Mills is the engine. Mills also brings his wife Tracy (Gwyneth Paltrow) to the city, acknowledging that this opportunity to tackle big cases would be a boost to his career. Sometime later in the movie, the three have dinner together and Somerset exhibits paternal instincts towards the simple Tracy, who is like the daughter he had always wanted.

Meanwhile, the killer is staging ghastly murders, all in connection with the Seven Deadly Sins. The duo come very near to catching that psychopath, but fail by an excruciatingly thin margin.

In a scene towards the end of the movie, Tracy meets up with Somerset to ask if it would be wise to bring a baby into this world - she reveals that she was pregnant. Uncertain of the city and his dark secrets, she needed the older man's approval before telling her husband.

The conclusion to the movie is so ethically revolting and so unpredictably delicious that you'll be stuck in a dilemma - whether to smile at the amazing anti-climax, or pause for a second, and soak up the gravity of the situation.

Keep a look out for the "plus one" I have listed in the cast above. To keep the intrigue going, even Fincher had not included the actor's name in the movie's opening titles, only to list the man twice in the closing credits.

After all, who are we to tamper with this gory masterpiece?

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Official Trailer

Hotel Transylvania (2012)

Hotel Transylvania

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Director : Genndy Tartakovsky

Writers : Todd Durham, Daniel Hageman and Kevin Hageman

Voices : Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kevin James, Fran Drescher, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, David Spade, Cee Lo Green and others...

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Overall : 7.0/10

Direction : 7.5/10

Animation : 7.0/10

Story : 7.5/10

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Certain ideas defy logic. They are a whole new level of crazy.
Hotel Transylvania has one such idea behind it's inception : "even monsters need a vacation!"

I'm an admirer of the animation genre, and this movie does justice to it. Adam Sandler lends his American voice to the Italian Dracula, who, to celebrate his daughter's (Selena Gomez) 118th birthday, invites some of the most prominent monsters to his five-star resort, where they can spend their leisure time without worrying about the human civilization's war against them.

Awesome, right?

The entry of the myriad monsters into the Hotel is one of the best scenes in the movie. Frankenstein (Kevin James) and his haughty wife (Fran Drescher), Murray the Mummy (Cee Lo Green), Wane and Wanda Werewolf (Steve Buscemi and Molly Shannon), the Invisible Man (David Spade) and the Bigfoot - all make appearances! It's like having your worst nightmares come true, only to realise how non-scary these clowns actually were.

Some of you might have guessed the twist in the movie by now - yes, a HUMAN (and a wacky one at that) named Jonathan (Adam Samberg), unknowingly waltzes into the Hotel. It triggers off a series of hilarious events, with Dracula trying his best to keep the secret under wraps and convince everyone (with the help of a LOT of makeup) that the boy is a long-lost relative of Frankenstein.

Towards the end, I felt that the movie had strayed away from its path, or perhaps become too slow for my taste. However, that special number by all the monsters, at the very end, is a treat that you'll cherish.

This is the first ever feature film to be directed by Genndy Tartakovsky. Samurai Jack and Dexter's Laboratory were his creations. Those two names should be reasons enough for you not to miss the movie. As it is, not many flicks released nowadays are suitable for family viewing.

So, why waste this wonderful opportunity?

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Official Trailer